Me.

Yes, me. Who else did you think I'd show pictures of? (Okay, so if you actually knew me, you'd know I'd show pictures of anyone...but that's beside the point.)

So, here I am:

Photographs of Me
Warped version of my photo Warped version of my photo Warped version of my photo

And yes, I am this colourful in real life. The one on the left was me in one of my less-solid moods. The one in the centre is me embracing my dark side. And the one on the right is much closer than both to how I actually look.

I sense someone out there doesn't believe me.

It's true, though. Just think about it. Take a trip to the Museum of Modern Art, say. Squint at any Kandinsky painting. Who do you think was posing for it? That's right, yours truly. And that one in the middle is me as painted by Van Gogh. Bet your Art History teacher doesn't know that. "Futurists?" "Expressionists?" Yeah, right. They were just painting what they saw. And they saw me, the same way you can, right up there. Content circa 1997. Fall 1997, to be more exact. Freshman enters art history class, overdoses on book learning.